Finding Words
by Stanleylouis
Summary: A different ending, a different effect. Can a heart that does not beat shatter?


_**Hi everyone, Stanleylouis here. Just watched this movie, and I loved it, in all of its wonkiness. So I wrote a story about it- a different ending, although probably not what a lot of people wrote about. Enjoy!**_

**Finding Words**

Words are lost to me.

I watch, solemnly, as others speak easily, without a hitch or confused look. It's all so easy for them… But whenever I speak, I'm afraid I'll say the wrong configuration, or that it won't even be words, just jumbled thoughts in my head.

Take now. I feel like my world is crashing down on me, and I have no way to describe it.

Kim's eyes open wide in shock, and her pale white cheeks empty of any color that had been there. I give a gasp, but I can't pull my eyes away from her face as she coughs, once, twice, the second time bringing up blood. Her eyes roll to the back of her head, and she gives a weak cry, her knees falling out beneath her. The only thing keeping her up is my bladed fingers sticking through her stomach.

"Kim…. Kim…" I lower her down to the floor, horrorstruck. It's all I can say. A simple movement, a step in front of me while I was pushing away from Jim's dead body, and the sharp, deadly knives lodged themselves inside of her. I wish I could take it back, oh so much… A single moment, that's all it took.

"Uh!" She grunts sickeningly; her eyes tear open and flood with tears. Her white dress is a mass of red, blooming outwards from my fingers.

"I… I…" I don't know what to say; words aren't coming to supply my thoughts. "I'm sorry…"

She moans, and it's the worst sound I've ever heard. She's panting, and crying, sweat beading on her forehead. She coughs again, and her blood flies onto my coat. I don't feel it, though; I can only stare at her face, her perfect face.

"It- It's okay, Edward…" Kim's lips move, but only a choked whisper comes through them. "Really, it's fine…" But we both no it isn't. My other hand moves around uselessly, snipping the air in stress. I can't convey anything, and can only look in her face in despair. She probably thinks I'm an idiot and can't understand what's happening, but I do, I do.

Her breaths are shallow now, almost nonexistent. I can tell that she's finding it hard to focus. At every shake of her body I feel a tremor run down my spine.

There's a commotion outside near the gates, and we both look up, Kim wincing sharply at her weak efforts. "What's happening?"

"People," I whisper, starting at the large crowd storming towards the castle.

"Our neighbors?"

I nod my head. She sighs weakly, and falls back.

"I wish…" Her eyes are becoming glazy, and she blinks a couple of times, trying to regain herself. "I wish it could all go away… Just for a while…" She sighs again, almost inaudibly, like a small wisp of wind. She closes her eyes, crying quietly. I want to reach out and touch her face, but I don't dare to with my claws.

"Should I…. Should I take it out?" I murmur, staring at my hand. She opens her eyes again, fear now lighting in their depths.

"I-" She coughs weakly, tearing up. "I…. it will hurt, won't it?"

I pause, than nod, staring into her face numbly. I wish with all of my heart that there's something I can do to take that horrible look of fright from her face.

"Edward…" she whispers, bringing up a hand to my cheek. I start at her touch, but draw nearer. "I… I'm sorry, about everything. It-" Sharp wince, a short hiss of pain escaping her lips. "I'm so sorry…"

"No, I'm sorry," I say numbly, wondering if my words mean anything to her. "It's all… my fault. You are perfect."

She looks up to me, sadness welling up and overflowing her eyes. "That's the first time anyone's said that to me," she whispers hoarsely, wetting her lips with her tongue. "And I know you mean it, somehow. I don't know why."

Her hand falls next to her limply, and she takes a deep, strangled breath, weeping silently. I wish that I had warm hands to clasp hers, but the cold steel blades snip tauntingly, keeping me from ever holding her close.

She faces me again, and I see strength enter her features, mustered up from somewhere inside of her, brightening her cheeks. At first I feel a rising elation, a sense of hope, but then I realize that the strength is ephemeral. Already it's dying fast, like a soft, short candle flame that I had seen in the presence of my father.

"Alright… Edward, I'm ready. But-" she gasps slightly again, a pained tear coming from her left eyelid. "Just…" She looks up into my face pleadingly, beseechingly, and for a moment I don't understand what she wants. Then, slowly, deftly, I lower myself towards her, staring into her fearful eyes.

"I love you, Edward," she sighs softly, her chin slightly quivering from the strain. I'm shocked at her words, barely comprehending their meaning. Below me, her eyes slowly close, and I lean closer, closer, until our lips meet in a kiss.

Moving apart to look into her eyes worriedly, I whisper words that I had been meaning to tell her from the moment I first saw her. "I love you." Her eyes flutter open, and in their depths, I can see something settle.

After a moment's pause, she sighs painfully, moving her arm so that she can lightly grasp onto my hand that isn't in her stomach. "Okay, Edward. I'm ready now."

I move my scissors lightly to my other so as to not dislodge her fragile hand, but it's firm on my blades. Gripping the sharp sheers tightly, I stare fervently into her face, gazing at her pale complexion, her light hair that's radiating from her scalp, soft in the light from the moon. Is this what I should do?

Her eyes stare resolutely back into mine. "I love you. It's alright," she whispers softly.

I lean down and brush her lips against mine once more, lifting up with despair flooding my heart. Then, still looking into her face, I take a firm grip on my hand and pull.

She screams, an earsplitting shriek that raises birds from the nearby trees. Her eyes go wide in agony, and then they're blank, dead. Dead.

She crumples to the ground, her skin an absolute white. I look at my fingers in horror, to see her crimson lifeblood staining my sheers. I look back to her, not believing what's in front of me.

"Kim?" I mumble hurriedly, tripping over the words. "K-K-Kim?" I move her face to the side so I can see it, and when I do my thumb slices a cut in her face. She doesn't move. Red blood sluggishly tries to ooze its way out, but it's as if it itself has died.

"Kim?" I can barely hear the words, so quiet in my ears. So quiet, in fact, that I can hear the yelling from outside the mansion.

"What was that? Did you hear that?"

"It was a scream! Oh my god, that Thing killed someone!"

I trace the outline of her face with my thumb, using the outside of the blade so as to not cut her. Her glassy eyes stare blankly up into mine.

For a moment I can't comprehend it, can't understand anything. And then it hits me, and I realize: I've killed the only being that I've ever loved, heart and soul. The only one who ever told me they loved me besides the inventor. The one who trusted their life in my hands until the very end.

And I killed her.

It's a moment before I can feel the wet trickle on my cheek, and when I do, I don't know what to make of it. Could it be tears, tears like those that are still wet on Kim's face? Kim's- Oh, Kim…

My blades are shaking, and I quickly pull them away from Kim's face, afraid that I'll hurt her. Misery, that's the word. Father had told me that word so long ago, I couldn't remember it. But this feeling- this feeling… It has to have a name….

I stare out of the huge hole in the roof to the moon, shining bright, just as it had a moment before, when she was alive. I sag against the floor, feeling myself go limp. Even my claws have stopped snipping. It's all gone to me now.

_What if I had stayed up in this mansion? _I wonder to myself, looking to Kim's face again. _What if I had never met Kim?_

_Would I be feeling this feeling now?_

I hear a smash from outside, and crashing footsteps, trampling over flowers and bushes. I close my eyes, feeling another trickle on my other cheek. It's all so empty now, this world…

Inside my head, I can see Kim smiling, her face white and open to the ice that's falling in her hand and into her hair. With a start, I open my eyes again, trying to block her face from my vision, but the real image is in front of me, staring at me with glazed eyes. I turn away, but her face still haunts me, taunting me with her beautiful cheeks, hair, eyes, lips…

"Stop…" I whisper, bringing my hands to the sides of my head. "Please stop…"

_Who are you talking to? _My mind asks softly. _Who?_

Slowly, slowly, I turn back to face Kim, but it's not really her. It's not her. It's not. She's gone.

_Just like Father…_

The sound from outside my room is getting closer, I can tell. I can hear a crash at the main door. But everything seems to fade away, as I picture Kim dancing around in the snow, her face smiling and bright, still alive. That's who she is. That's who Kim is.

And how… How can I live without her here?

I bend down again over Kim's face, kissing her lips with mine. I can feel the coldness of her lips like frigged snow. Just before… Just before, she had kissed me, really kissed me. She said she loved me, and I loved her.

It was all supposed to make sense, but it wasn't, not now.

I blink my eyes several times, cocking my head to the side. Then, after weaving my bloodstained sheers through her hair, I bring them up to my chest, staring at them with remorse.

These hands… These hands took everything I wanted and loved away from me.

And they can take me away too.

I stare up to the ceiling, thinking again about words, and how they're lost from me. In all that time spent with Kim, all those precious days, hours, minutes- and it took only one to tell her how I felt.

I don't think I was ever meant to speak.

**~*~**


End file.
